1 Year Sober

Today is one year sober; today I feel nothing but gratitude. A sense of self-awareness I have never felt before. In one year I’ve learned more about me than in the 28 years of living. What I’ve learned in one year sober is I am not my past, my mistakes, and my past addiction. I’m whom I choose to be today, in this moment.

A year ago today, I was sitting on a mattress on the floor in a new apartment, I’d lost the love of my life because of my addiction, and I was ashamed and embarrassed. Little hope, lost with no purpose or sense of direction.

Today every aspect of my life is amazing, like I am walking in a dream. I see the world with different eyes. Eyes that is clear and filled with hope and compassion.

Sobriety does not fix everything but it allows me to have a clear mind so I could fix my life. The first few weeks into sobriety my emotions were up and down. Happy, Sad, Hopeful, defeated, angry, confused, blissful, inspired, sobriety allowed me to feel life on life terms.

The list of gifts sobriety has brought into my life are endless. Surrendering everything to the power greater than myself has been beyond rewarding, it taught me a word called forgiveness. Forgiving everything including forgiveness for myself.

Sobriety put purpose in my writing. I heal through my art. Hopefully inspiring others to heal through art. I now see love in all aspects of my life. When I was using I was blind from the love that surrounded me. I was caught in my mind that created false stories that brought me pain so I would use, creating a vicious cycle of using.

Now I see love so big, I feel love so much it’s as if my heart going to explode.

The ISM in Alcoholism is Alcohol-Inside Self & Mind. My disease centered in my mind creating the body craving. I had to become aware of the mind voice. Once I was able separate the voice from my True self. I could stop the voice dead in its tracks. The voice would speak to me like just have one more drink or only wine. The voice would bring up my past; you had such a bad childhood, you should be angry, he’s cheating on you, blah blah on and on. How dare you, you offended me, blah, blah on and on.

The voice sounded like me, it knew what to say to get me to the next drink.

I’m stronger than the voice because I’m aware of my true-self. My true-self is stronger. I can shut it down. if it starts feeding me negative thoughts from my past.

Today I woke up happy, aware, with purpose; fire in my heart to create art, wanting to be a better me. Still working on love for myself and compassion for others. Staying open to learning new things. Sober is the new black.

I want to say thank you to the readers of sober is the new black. That allowed me to share my journey. There are no words that i can write down to show my gratitude. Thank you friends with more days sober who are my teachers and thank you friends with less days sober who my inspiration.

Sober is the New Black will continue on, my book will be out at the end of this year also an apparel line. Sobriety brings dreams that seemed unimaginable. God bless and until next time. Going to turn off my computer for the day and just live!!!!!! Seeing new sights with these clean and sober eyes.

Stay connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

This video below was one year in the making. Hope it inspires.

 

 

one year sober

 

adolfo vasquez adolfo vasquez

 

adolfo vasquez

Special thanks to Roxy Shih for the video

Vincent Sandoval for Photography

Stay connected with love Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 98 Sober: Forgiving my parents Oprah Way

Hello friends, its day 98 sober. It’s has been a busy day but feeling very grateful for this sober mind that helps me get through the day. Around this time in the past I would be past out drunk, so glad I have more hours in my day to create from within. I have started working my second job, I am so grateful for it. The hours, pay and environment are great. It’s a type of job with tons of deadlines and pressure but I’ve done it for years and use to it. The difference this year is I am sober. In the past it was ok to have a drink and work, maybe even a bottle of wine or some Macallan 12. Now it will be a total different experience. Some Pellegrino or coffee will do.I don’t miss the feeling or even the taste of booze; the only thing I miss is hanging out, the social aspect, meeting new peeps. Right now I just don’t have the time to be out, I have a few things in the works for Sober is the New Black. I do miss the bar food, I am a huge foodie.

 

On my way to this café in Koreatown I was looking out the window and seen this guy who appeared to be homeless stumbling around with a beer bottle in his hand, this disorder is real and I have to always be aware of the mind disorder. I felt empathy because the only thing that separates me from him is my sobriety. I am glad I am aware of what will happen if I pick up again. I am one drink away from death so I can’t have a next drink.

 

Today I spoke to my real mom on the phone and for the first time, I had no anger for her or hate. I felt love, it was weird because in the past I would be really annoyed or short temper when see called. I am learning how to forgive her and not really for her but for me. I need to happy and I wont if I carry hate for my parents. Forgiveness takes time. Not only do I want to forgive them I want a relationship. I want them to know me and I now them, If they want. My mom was a bit upset when I started this blog but now she understand this blog wasn’t about her it was about me healing. No matter how many times I was abused by my parents I still long for a friendship. My parents are also addicts so going through my addiction has brought me a deep understanding of my parents. My mom isn’t in the best place but I know she is working for a better tomorrow. I still have a bit of fear when I see my dad, when I see him I get nervous and say only a few words. It will take some more work but I would like to be friends with my father. I am also realizing I don’t really need parents in my life. Everything I need is in me; I just got to create love, joy, security, passion and growth. I can create friendships with others by being the best me and attracting that in my life. I just hope my parents find the serenity I do in this moment. Sober is the new Black.

 

I have to share this video from Oprah Winfrey again it Change the way I forgive, so powerful and i hope it helps

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez