DAY 191 Sober: Sober Learner

Hello friends, today is day 191 sober,  I had a wonderful 7 days off of work for thanksgiving. I am a bit over six months sober and only have had one craving. Every decision I am making in my life is toward long-term goals and my own doing. I don’t have to wake up the next day with guilt or worrisome of the wrongs I’ve caused. No more lush trends. My body feels great, no more really dry skin and my shape looks a lot better

The beginning of sobriety, detoxing the body happens, but I didn’t know detoxing the mind would also happen. My emotions would always go up and down, sad and happy, joyful and angry. I question everything and everybody. I found out quickly, who were my friends. So it seemed my life was upside down. It seemed like a roller coaster. I knew I wanted change and never wanted to taste another IPA beer, but the addiction came out in full force once I stop giving my addiction what it need, the booze. So I had to reach out and find out how to heal my broken mind. They say you can’t fix a broken mind with a broken mind, that is true 100, but I do believe you can heal a broken mind so you can be aware of the addiction voice. Now that the fog has cleared and I am not using, I am left with issues and root causes. It’s a huge step to be aware of being an addict because you can never become unaware once you are aware. The addiction can try and convince otherwise, but it will get quite and far in between. I just need to do my program and not drink

the beginning of sobriety  I was unaware of all the love in support sobriety brings, from people in recovery. I stumbled upon a website called “match me sober” and it connects people in sobriety, there are so many social media outlets that cater to us.

I call my Teachers, sober warriors who have the answers I need so I can understand the mind of the addiction. I’ve been in and out of AA rooms in California, my first was in my hometown and I did not connect with the speaker because he was talking about all the wrongs he has done. I was 21 never been in prison or did any of the things that he spoke of, so my defected mind, thought, I must not be an addict and left using. It was until years later, I found a place called primetime in Los Angeles heard what I needed, They focus on the mind of the addict and I left knowing I was an addict. I still never been in prison or did those things my Hometown speaker spoke about but I connected with the speaker of primetime, because they focus on the ego, mind and body of the addict and how it affects them in their day to day

 

I do not consider myself a sober warrior yet, there is still a way to go, but I am a sober learner. Love to learn more about addiction and one day able to help others, as of now I am a sponge soaking up all I can so I can be a better me. I need a solid foundation so I can build this house called life. There are other non-addicts that inspire my spiritual growth. My life long goal is to be the best I can be through my actions and thoughts. The universe render endless possibility, it might not always be as I planned, but there are reasons things happen. My little brown eyes are not made to understand at the time, but the lessons will surface I just have to be open enough to see it. Sober is the new black.

 

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This song from Macklemore-Otherside ft fences changed my life. Hope it helps someone who might be struggling

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 84 Sober: Endless Possibility

Hello Friends, its end of day 84 sober. Had such a wonderful night, still blushing. Life has been such a wonderful gift to myself once I got sober. Life has open up in ways I never knew possible and with that I have Endless gratitude. I now know what joy means and feels like. Day 84 sober and in total bliss, very possible no matter how low of bottom you are currently in. Sobriety is freedom, freedom to be you. That person that’s always been deep inside waiting to break free, that inner divine thats going shine out from darkness into a world of endless possibility.  I am who I always wanted to be, I was blinded with pain, past, guilt and booze but I surrender all that to my higher power that I understand it to be. Ask it to guide my feet so I can become the real me. I am not my past nor the things I’ve done, I am who I choose to be in this moment right now here, I will quilt this moments together that will eventually become the future. All of this takes work but shortly after doing the work its no longer work it’s more of wanting to finding me, more like evolving, growth.

 

Today I spent the day writing some poems, talk to the publisher and it’s grind time, I need to create some more poems. Also in vision how I want the book to look, Day one I would have never thought I would be this close to publishing a book, its kind of surreal but staying humble and grateful. It just shows the power of sobriety, everything is coming together like a dream. I also spent my afternoon and evening with my friend Lenny. We laugh the whole time like a bunch of kids, baked a cake, and watch a bunch of nonsense TV. I will be up late writing and drinking coffee. Tomorrow I work so I might be a bit tired but I feel inspire at the moment and I don’t want to put this fire out. Sobriety for me is freedom, and with freedom I am now able to be me. Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for life. For Discipline, for friends, for cakes, and for you.

 

Ellie Goulding Cover of your song is so perfect for tonight.

 

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

 

 

 

 

DAY 70 Sober: Writers Bliss

Hello friends today has been an amazing 70 days sober, I am at a cafe writing away. I just finish a great writing session with a coworker. He is a great writer, brilliant thinker. This was are first session,  sure not the last. I finish my first poem that is perfect, stamped and approved. I need 11 more to go. You know when the poem is perfect, it more of a feeling inside yourself, nothing can be changed or nothing can be added. It is what it is, its own living breathing thing. I am grateful for being sober because it has brought me endless possibility. I was unaware of the process it takes to create a book, The rewrites,  I have always been very insecure when it comes to anyone reading my work but its a dance between the writer and the reader and I need my point to comes across clear. My vision. 

I will  continue the process,  I need balance so i did my mental work and long term work now ill be watching some mindless TV with some junk food. Yesterday i spent the day with Lenny, I love spending time with her she makes everything very comfortable, being myself without hesitation, and we love to laugh at each other. Everybody needs that friend. I start back at work tomorrow, Ill probably be laying low for the rest of the week, I need to force my creativity to flow at home. So i have to work on that muscle also i need to carry a note pad and pen everywhere. I have a forget full mind and my mac and phone are not alway accessible. So far i have achieve my goals for today. I feel very blessed and beyond focus, beyond driven. I know great things are on the horizon. I feel it with every cell and bone because with every cell and bone i know booze will not be that blockade any longer. Life is to amazing not live sober and clear minded. Sober is the New black. I am grateful for fellow writers, for healthy criticism, and the opportunity to build healthy relationships. 

Saw this video of Ingrid Michaelson and loved it

Stay connect with love, Adolfo