1000 Days Sober

Hello Friends,

Today I’m 1000 days sober. I feel nothing but gratitude for the wisdom I’ve gained in my time sober. I know myself more than ever, “who I am” and “who I am not”.  I clearly see my innate gifts and what my issues are.  Since my mind is clear and sober i get to act on my innate gifts while working on my issues. Issues I find deep in my soul. There’s still a lot of learning ahead. Some lessons will be through pain and some will be easy. I just have to accept whatever the universe gives me. Know there is a reason why things happen. I might not be able to see the lesson right away so I just have to accept what is. The lesson might arrive later once the pain subsides. I can’t always know why everything happens, i just have to accept that it does. I can’t run or hide or bury what is, i have to fully embrace it and make the necessary changes. The universe is very powerful and has magic  my human eyes can’t always see. I just have to stay open for the lesson.

I’ve been working on my first novel that has turned into a three book series. I use to think it had to be done right away or within a years but I can’t rush this process, I just have to let it come alive. All three books are basically done and the editors are ready but I am still making some small adjustments. There’s only been one person to read through all three books. This person is an avid reader, who usually finishes two books in one week. They loved the series so that was huge relief and a boost in my confidence. Right now I am in a stage called “The Middle” that’s in between the realization of the goal or dream and the achievement. I am finding “The Middle” to be the most important part because it defines the destination. The middle has also been the most fun because it’s where I am most creative. The middle might is where i spend most of my time, so I have to enjoy it. I have to allow space, failures, growth and change to happen. The middle part is where I see what needs to be change, what work needs to be done, and it allows me to put in a plan of action. In this stage I have to be kind to myself and enjoy the ride, dream big, and put in the work. I’ve been writing six hours a day for the past two years. The middle part has taken time but it’s necessary. My persistence overpowers my failures. Failures are necessary and rejection is inevitable, but it’s not the end destination.


I don’t have all the answers on how to stay sober or be successful in life, all I can do is work towards my goals and dreams. All I can do is live one day at a time and try to be present in each day. I know that my ego is the creator of all misery. If I’m upset or angry somewhere in that pain is ego. I know I will always have Alcoholism, Alcohol-Inside Self and Mind. I know my disease centers in my mind that creates the body craving. That’s why I have to always be aware of the mind voice, but it has gotten very quite since I’ve been sober. As of now, my true self seems to be stronger than my disease but I know it wont always be this way. There will be extreme pain ahead, people will die in my life but my recovery program is my safety net. My second year sober has been pretty effortless but there have been some life challenges. I now face life challenges head on and embrace those uncomfortable feelings instead reaching for a drink. Feeling life is very important in recovery, feeling everything and not burying it. So I cry when I need to or laugh when I want to. My feelings now live on my skin and not underneath whiskey poison. Burying my feelings will create an infection that creates holes in my soul. When holes in the soul are created we try to fill them with outside false happiness like shopping or food or sex but the goal is the not let the holes get there in the first place. So I can’t bury my feelings I have to embrace my feelings. The more challenges I face in life, the more wisdom and strength I will gain. If life becomes too hard, drinking is off the table, I can write or do something that can calm my soul. I’ve only had one craving for that whiskey poison and that was in my first months sober, cravings have seemed to vanish. I make sure to stay grateful for my sobriety, if i wasn’t sober than i would have nothing. My home, my partner, my family or friends. Human connection is the most important thing in my life.

The longer I am sober, the more I forget that I was once an addict. Since being sober I have created so many amazing memories, it seems like the new great memories are erasing the old past pain. The past is the past, it’s not my current moment. I can’t use my infected past guide my day or I can’t react to the present with the past. Now that I am sober, I have a clear slate to create anything I want.  The past doesn’t play over and over in my head, I no longer feel that deep shame of my past addiction. We are not our addiction symptoms, not the past pain, the shame or guilt of hurting loved ones. We are the courage and strength it took to change, that’s our True self.  There has been a lot of happy memories made in my 1000 days sober and I focus on those. I no longer wake up to blackout crimes or wake up with hangovers, now I wake up to goals and dreams. I’ve been working on achieve those. If we can overcome addiction, just imagine what else we can accomplish. If we took that hard work  and dedication we put into our recovery program and apply that into a relationship or career we would see success in those areas.  Meeting small goals in life will build confidence and small goals lead to big goals or life changing goals. Small goals are very important and should be celebrated, like making a month sober, how incredible is that. The courage it took just to get sober for a month, go for another month. Months add up and eventually you will be a year sober, and years add up too.

The people I lost due to my addiction are back in my life, but my relationships are better than before. I feel a deep connection to the people in my life, it’s as if my compassion and empathy for other humans have grown. I love bigger and unconditional but not just other i have deep love for myself. I feel like i am own greatest fan and best friend. I treat my body, mind and soul with deep respect. Our body is the only real home we have. I now understand what it means to be good to other humans and  enjoy human connection more than ever. Every single day I try to be as present as my mind allows. I trust others but more importantly I trust myself in taking charge of my life and making decisions.

Healing is not about becoming happier, or feeling bliss all the time. Healing is more of letting go of everything that isn’t my true self. Letting go of child abuse, letting go of my traumas, letting go of the addiction, letting go everything that is preventing my full potential and only than am I healing, and left with my true self.

Below is some New Poetry  since my last blog post.
















Stay Connected with love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 44 Sober: My New Relationship

Hello friends today is Day 44 sober, I had an Amazing weekend. I am so grateful for everybody reading Sober is the New Black. I am so exhausted but its worth it! I just woke up from a nap and I am in need of  few more hours of sleep! I am sitting near downtown LA, having a cup of coffee! My childhood friend Nikka came out to LA for her BDAY.  We had a much needed ladies weekend that consisted of great talks, beach, laughter, hiking, great food, dancing and in her words a turnt up weekend. Started at the beach and ended at a nightclub. This was my first time at a club since I got sober, anyone that knows me knows I love to dance so I knew Bars probably would end unless they served food but Clubs wont end. I did not have cravings at all. Nikka was very respectful and did not make me feel uncomfortable. I dance for a few hrs. And had some water. It was a great work out. It had some cute boys but I was just focus on Nikka and dancing away. 

I’ve been single for a while, last night I realized I might be lonely but my body is a gift and I will not just give it away to just some drunk at the club. Now that I am getting older I need to start respecting my body more.  So the next person I sleep with will be with someone serious. With that said I am a human so what I am allowing myself is cuddles, some social fun and a great make out session but that’s it. I can’t have any distraction in the beginning of my sobriety. Since I am newly sober and going through a breakup my Alcohol-ISM (Inside self &Mind) is coming out with negative thoughts pertaining to my old life and EX. So I’ve been praying and asking my Higher Power to take away those negative thoughts. I have to remind myself I am single at times because the thought of being with some else brings out a bit of guilt for thinking of another man, I guess I still have feelings for my EX but the feelings are fading and I am falling out of love by the second.

When I was single in the past I would be at bars drunk and hooking up but now I am sober and older those things do not seem sexy. That’s not the type of guy I need in my life. I do wonder if my next partner needs to be sober? Do two recovering Addicts work well together? I know my EX was a gift from the universe to open up my eyes to myself. I need to beat this disorder and be a pioneer in my future. I do not want my past relationship and my EX effort to be in Vain. I will be ready to do it right this time around. Above all Sobriety is number one in my relationship… my Ideal relationship will consist of

 Knowing what my partner needs to feel loved — even if those needs are different than mine.

We fight productively.

Confidence boosts from are mutual physical attraction.

We have separate identities, but you face the world as one.

Communicate without speaking

 We are Comfortable around each other since day one.

Challenges each other like no one else can

 Comfortable getting a little adventurous between the sheets.

We bring each other a sense of inner calm.

Willing to put the “we” before the “me.”

We connect with each other friends and family

And Acceptance 


Stay Connect with Love, Adolfo