8 Months Sober

Hello Friends today is 8 months sober, today I feel content with my recovery process. I’m grateful for life, human connection, and for finding myself every day. I’m starting to understand what they mean by its not the destination its all about the journey. I have to embrace every circumstance life brings me with a positive outlook. Rewiring my mind to see the world in a positive way. The way I use to see the world and understand the world was with eyes molded from past pain, childhood traumas, low self-esteem and fear. All those intertwined caused my substance abuse disorder. I did not know how to have a human connection so I bonded with alcohol, now I am learning to see everybody in the light of love and understanding without ego.

Last week I felt empty and couldn’t understand why but a spiritual teacher by the name of Jesse Ann Nichols George spoke some words to me that really help me understand the feeling of emptiness. The feeling of emptiness is a sign of progression. I have emptied myself from the negative and I can fill my life with something new, mindful and purpose filled. Going to start pushing myself to write Short stories, still writing poetry but I need to push myself with my writing. I felt a bit stagnant so grateful for her wisdom.

At 8 months sober, my eyes see my surroundings in a different way, I notice things I have yet seen. Small stuff too big stuff from the crack in the wall in my apartment to the love that surrounds my life. My senses are heightened; I feel life to the extreme. I wake up happy, wanting to find purpose in every day. I finding myself in tears most of my days, happy tears also sometimes sober blues tears. Lately the reason is fear based that I am working on, I know if I just stay sober life will open up but I’m also working towards dreams and I get fearful that I may fail but even those fears won’t stop me from working my butt off. Sober is the New Black.

So if there is anyone early in recovery that might be having a hard time, just remember you are also detoxing the mind and your feelings will be up and down, if you just push on those feelings they will level out and life gets clear. The wanting or cravings might not go away right away, but you become so strong that you can change your thoughts to positive ones. That will help you get through the cravings. Take those painful feelings and create art, make it meaningful. It will bring so much joy and peace. Sober is The new Black

 

I’ve been working on this short story the past couple days, it’s called A boy and his Bear. Hope you like it.

A boy and his bear

A boy and his bear

Here is a poem I wrote yesterday, go to Disneyland, camping, eat some smore’s. It’s never too late

childhood

childhood

Me at 8 months sober

Adolfo Vasquez

Adolfo Vasquez

This video is of Ira Glass so inspiring if there is anyone who is an artist struggling must watch

 

This song from Ellie Goulding your song is for anybody who is struggling with recovery, it’s so wonderful and beautiful that you are alive in this world, believe that and also feel that in your heart. I love you so much.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo Vasquez

DAY 48 SOBER: Amanda Palmer “In My Mind”

Hello friends, todays Day 48 sober and I am feeling Alive. I’ve only been up a few hours but I feel like today is going to be a great day. I was supposed to start my workout routine yesterday but of course my eyes got sleepy and needed to get home. Today I am sure my eyes will get sleepy again. It will happen in time. Soon I will break that mental blockage and start working out. I really have no excuse except being tired, which is caused by me. I did start working on my childhood mini bio, it’s a hard write and it will be a hard read. I find myself having mini crying session when I am writing which is a very therapeutic. I am grieving for that 3-year-old boy. 

My job is on the same street as my ex and so yesterday after work I was walking and seen him pull out, and my whole body went numb and I felt the air left my lungs, I did not have any sadness more of a shock. It makes me feel good knowing my feelings are fading. It did get my mind going a bit, on how people can be so close, best friends like than one minute walk by each other like are connection never existed, its like animal instinct, survivor mode. Granted he was in the car and I was walking but even if he’d be walking, I am unsure how it would have played out. He probably did not even see me. Need to pick a new street to walk down. It doesn’t really bother me walking down my old street; its funny because my old  neighbor still thinks I live their, she is an interesting character to say the least. She has a white poodle like dog that is so cute.  She always asks me to let me ex know if he can photograph her dog. 

Today I will be having dinner with a friend and writing before hand! This month will be a packed month! This coming weekend I will be spending it with a great friend I have not seen in awhile, slumber party, great talks, and food! The weekend after, ill be heading back home to Palm Springs for a birthday party! The weekend after, some friends invited me on their annual camping trip to Kern River near Lake Isabella in Bakersfield, CA. I need to figure out my Wi-Fi because Sober is the New Black is my baby and the weekend after ill be heading back to Palm springs for my niece birthday!  So excited to be sober and clear mind so I experience all those sober!

I am grateful for my awesome friends, Love and my job! Amanda palmer is such an amazing Artist. singer, performer, human! Her video “In my Mind” is brilliant. Hope you enjoy!

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo