DAY 86 Sober: Sober Fun

Day 86 sober, Hello friends today has been a successful day planning some exciting stuff on the horizon. Today work was slow, it seemed all I did was eat. I really need to change my eating habits, I’ve lost over ten pounds since I stop drinking but I am eating tons of sugar and other junk foods. This is my intake so far today, king size Kit Kat, two slices of pizza, Fritos, diet coke, hot Cheetos, three cups of coffee, a donut…Blah when I write it down its kind of Embarrassing but I can change it.

 

I am getting close to my 90 days sober. I am very excited. I don’t have anything plan for the big day. I do work at my upcoming job but after that I might go write. 90 days without a thought of wanting to use, is a big deal. I already pass the count of my last relapse so that’s a huge deal but I have not craved any booze and I have been around it. It makes me feel gross to even think about it. My mind back then didn’t understand addiction and Alcoholism. Life is to fun to waste being drunk. I used to think there was know way I can have fun without a drink but I was so wrong because the fun I am having now is real, I can dance, ride bikes, go out to a club, have a great dinner party, game nights, concerts, BBQ and the beach. I am not missing out on anything. what is awesome,  I’ll be in the moment sober so Ill have more hours of fun because I do not pass out and I remember everything, in control of the outcome, that’s a beautiful thing. I know longer have to wake up with guilt, people hating me, hating myself, no shame, no I am sorry. If I had a penny for every sorry I spoke, I probably could buy a LA home cash. I am also becoming the real me so I am finding out I enjoy doing things I never did like playing sports.

 

I wake up now grateful, exited to see what the day brings and madly in love with myself. I don’t worry about others opinions or judgments because I know me. I Love meeting new people, getting to know their story. I want to learn constantly, from love to addiction to sex to food to poetry. I want to constantly be working to be whole, smart, and loving. In life I just want to be happy and have fun, life is to short to be unhappy. I found purpose in sobriety, there is a bigger picture. Addiction was put in my life for a reason, on my way to figuring it out, maybe it was to break this family cycle. The universe knew I was strong enough to do so. It ends with me or maybe to help others who struggle. Sober is the New Black. I am grateful for life, my awesome hat, Coffee, connections, and for the reader.

 

Stay connect with love, Adolfo

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OneRepublic Good life, Yes it is going to be a good life from now on, just have to stay sober. 

DAY 42 Sober: Happy 4th

Hello friends, today is day 42 Sober. Hope everybody enjoyed his or her 4th of July. This morning I woke up in a bit of a funk not really Feeling like celebrating. Since I’ve been sober I’ve been having some dreams of my old life and when I do I always wake up in a bit a funk. The dreams are not about me drinking. It focuses on my ex and my old friends. This dream was about my EX celebrating the 4th with his new love and my old friends, someone stealing my old life from me. When we broke up, I was the bad guy and so everybody left, I understand they were his friends first so of course they took themselves out of my life, I expected that but every time I dream those dreams I wake up with deep loneliness and kind of numb. So I prayed really hard in the shower and asked my Higher power to get me through the day and once I got out, I was ready to celebrate the 4th! Some friends and I had a BBQ at a park; it was peaceful, filled with laughter, water gun fights, great food and love! It reminded me how amazing my new normal is and I cant be a prisoner of my past but the pioneer of my future. 

 

Also my blog has been getting A lot of amazing support which I am so grateful for. kind people who are reaching out and sending their well wishes. Since my blog is public their also some other people who are also in recovery that are not feeling it. Which is ok I don’t expect everybody to understand my journey into sobriety. This blog is from a guy who is just 42 days sober, so the point is to Evolve, grow and document my story and struggle. So I know I don’t have all the answers and don’t want to. I just want to be whole and heal. Maybe this blog might help newbies and maybe it might remind winners what it’s like to just be 42 days sober. I spoke to this amazing lady last night, who I believe is such an inspirational winner and she reminded me I have to take advice that works for me and leave the rest. This blog is very therapeutic and I had to refocus and not give those people any energy. This blog I believe is a gift form the Universe and I know there is a bigger picture. I have to stay focus on staying sober that’s it.

Today I am grateful for being Sober, My Higher Power, for all the love that surrounds me, for AA and The BIG BOOK.  

Stay Connect with love, Adolfo

 

 

 

 

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